Sashiko Fail

I recently repaired a hole in my  denim jacket with a decorative Japanese stitching technique I had seen online. It was fun to learn about and try, there are so many inspiring examples to admire across every social media platform. I even enjoyed most of the steps to complete the project. 

Drawing the grid lines was one stressful aspect, as I had to concentrate and use a ruler for the first time in ages. Another hard part was pulling my needle through a thick seamed area on the sleeve with 4+ layers of thick denim fabric. It was painful to my hands (but it went easier when I used pliers for a while). The repair definitely worked, though – the hole is reinforced! The threadbare area is strong now. There is a colorful, carefully stitched design that covers the damage, which had bothered me. These are the facts! But I still am unhappy about it for some reason.

Overall the job I did was not a “failure” but I have repeatedly thought since completion, “I don’t want to wear the jacket anymore”! There were a few times while I was getting to work on this I considered that I don’t really like the patch I chose, or the thread color (but I kept going anyway). To recall this is painful, and I should have stopped myself back then. I really could have done things differently.

It was my first time trying my hand at sashiko inspired repairs, so it’s unrealistic to imagine perfection! But I think even just a second pass will bring some improvement to how it looks (and hopefully how I feel about it). I’m hard on myself and critical of every detail that’s possible to beautify being overlooked. 

Nobody I’ve shown so far has said that it looks bad, the main comments I remember are that it’s “cool” (and I can somewhat agree), yet I am unsatisfied. I don’t like how it looks and believe I can do better. Am I really going to rip out my hard work and do this again? Yeah I think so

Visible mending is kind of a trend and part of the slow fashion movement that promotes sustainability, so I really want to like it too. It was an artform developed in poverty and that is really beautiful to consider. I have at least a dozen other jackets and can easily afford to replace this one, but inexplicably wish to preserve my old summer clothing item

Sashiko enthusiasts with more experience will have such a neat and tidy path where the stitches look really perfect on both sides of the embroidery but mine is chaotic. I’ll try to be more economical with the thread on my next attempt but am much more concerned with the appearance of the garments outside for now. 

I bought another piece of denim fabric that’s a closer match to the color of my jacket, and I’m going to do it again soon. I’m really going to pick out every tedious stitch this weekend and start this whole endeavor over again! Now I’ve had a practice run, maybe the overall effect will be stronger. And if my second attempt still doesn’t satisfy, I’m going to give the jacket away (there’s a thrift store in my neighborhood and I’ve brought them many clothes that upset me over the years). 

I think if I sew the patch a second time without any feeling of improvement it’s probably a mental health concern like depression symptoms or something anhedonic happening. But I’ll try to be emotionally gentle and remind myself, it’s still only my 2nd project! All I can really do is strive to improve. My first few knitting or quilting projects were certainly weak and wack as hell, so it might just be too ambitious for me to produce a nice work this early on as a beginner at sashiko. It’s also possible this visible mending technique is just not as appealing for me to wear as when I admire it completed by others. And I will certainly update again to share however it goes.